Black Men and Relationships: Are Platonic Friendships Possible?
Male and female relationships are usually classified in sexual terms or based on physical attributes. What is so often lost is the dynamic of a genuinely platonic relationship between a man and a woman.
The relationships between Black men and Black women are so often categorized by societal stereotypes with Black men coming across as violent and arrogant and Black women as demanding and cold. Both descriptions are far from the truth that lies at the heart of multifaceted Black men and Black women who have historically hidden their emotions under the ever present discriminatory assaults and societal stresses put upon them.
For Black men, in particular, these assaults have caused extensive damage to their growth and development as men, husbands and fathers, and equally important, as friends. There is a crisis regarding Black men and relationships that needs to be addressed.
According to the Center for Disease Control, cardiovascular disease overall is more prevalent among Black men – about 41 percent – compared to 34 percent in Caucasian men. Also, similar CDC studies show that Black men and Black women are twice more likely than their Caucasian counterparts to have a stroke and Black men are 60 percent more likely to die from a stroke.
These statistics are matched with the high rate of unemployment impacting Black men and relationships especially and discontent that adds to their stress and affects their social interactions. With the increased rate of divorce and the growing number of challenges that Black men, who are not “dead beat dads,” face to gain custody or have visitations with their children, it is a wonder that Black men and relationships are in jeopardy. It is a wonder that Black men can have any type of productive and positive relationships, especially with women.
However, Black men and relationships are not a lost cause. Black men can have relationships with Black women that do not involve court battles, custody fights or overall control issues. It is called friendship and sometimes, it is this relationship that carries them through all the dramas and traumas in their lives and provides that oasis to reduce the stress of life.
I was taught that if you have at least one good friend, then you are blessed. I can say that I have been very blessed throughout my life, but there is one good friend who was the right to my left, he was my “big brother,” my sounding board and one of my biggest cheerleaders and support systems and, equally important, I was his. So, I know that a positive connection exists with Black men and relationships and a Black woman can have a genuinely platonic relationship with a Black man because that is what I had with my “big brother” and the best friend anyone could have-Mark R. Griffith.
Unfortunately, Mark’s life was suddenly cut short in December 2008 from cardiac arrest due to a stress-based hypertensive condition. However, he filled the lives of those of us around him for the forty-eight years he was here.
To my mother, Emma Waters Mereday, he was another son and part of our family. He believed in people and lived life to the fullest. As an award-winning, broadcast journalist, he not only helped to bring the messages to the community, he inspired many of the messengers you see and read about today. We laughed, we cried and we could just sit around and shoot the breeze. He always spoke in the royal “we” whether we were hanging out eating exotic food or handling events at journalism conferences, it was always “we are going to do this” or “we need to address that” and we supported each other when the chips were down.
No idea was too wild for Mark and he was always ready saying, “When do we start!” Ironically, the last “great idea” that “we” had involved starting a project to address health issues affecting Blacks in the media. It was always M and M Productions. Now, I cherish his memory and his friendship and I encourage Black men to first, take care of their health and second, take care of all their relationships. Black men and relationships should start with friendships most of all!
For more information on the Mark R. Griffith Black Men’s Health Empowerment & Longevity Project (MRG-HELP), administered through Empowered Health Partnerships, Inc. visit www.empowerhealthpartnerships.org.
About the Author
Meta J. Mereday is a writer for
; Regal Black Mens Magazine
The publication focuses on
; African American Community News Politics Sports Health
The magazine features a
; Local Online Classifieds & Job Classified Black Business Directory
Visit to read about
; Black men and relationships
Why Black Men Are Dating Other Races Pt. 1 -GurlTalkkTV
|
|
Victorinox 40520 Fibrox 8-Inch Chef’s Knife $24.72 Nothing is worse than going to cut with your cutlery, and having the handle slip around in your hand. To combat this potential for injury, Victorinox has created this Fibrox chef’s knife. The Fibrox® handle is textured and provides a firm grip, even when wet, and does not slip or slide around. It is comfortable and fits naturally to the shape of your hand, and provides an attractive and modern st… |
|
|
Cuisinart GR-4N 5-in-1 Griddler $185.00 The Cuisinart(tm) Griddler makes “multifunctional” an understatement! Make perfect panini… plus! With four separate cooking options, it can handle everything from pancakes to sausages to grilled cheese to steaks, hamburgers and panini. It helps you prepare more servings of more kinds of food in less time, so you can cook for a crowd — no one has to wait!Simply change the cooking plates and adju… |
|
|
Black & Decker TR1256B 850-Watt 2-Slice Toaster with Bagel Function and Removable Crumb Tray $15.25 Make toast and bagels with ease with an 850-watt, 2-slice toaster. One-touch functions for bagel and defrost feature easy-to-see blue indicator lights, with a toast shade selector knob for just the right amount of toasting. The extra-wide slots feature auto-adjusting bread guides for thick or thin slices, with an auto lift lever to make removing your breads easy. All this, plus a removable crumb t… |
|
|
Paranoid $3.11 No Description Available.Genre: Popular MusicMedia Format: Compact DiskRating: Release Date: 9-MAR-1989… |
|
|
Facing Future $10.68 To gauge the magnitude of Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s popularity in his native Hawaii, consider this: following his death in 1997 (at age 38, attributed to his profound obesity), Kamakawiwo’ole’s body lay in state in the state capitol, only the second person to receive such an honor. Kamakawiwo’ole’s appeal lies in his love for prestatehood, precondominium Hawaii and the expressiveness of his gently p… |
|
|
Back In Time $1.29 … |
|
|
Men In Black $2.99 … |